Fuck the British Press: Why Favourite Worst Nightmare is a Complete Nightmare

This is a rather childish rant, so excuse me please. I'm in class still, so it comes off as a bit scattered.

I’ve never understood the way the British music press works; here in the US, we essentially only have monthly magazines, with the exception of Rolling Stone. I’ve always seen the “weekly” form of music press as cheap, an almost tabloid like version of what the press should be. With the music industry, there isn’t really enough news to fill a weekly magazine besides Billboard, but that’s for insiders who care about the news. In the past few years, magazines like New Musical Express have become a real problem for musical trends in the United States. Magazines like this have always been known as hyperbolic at best, but they’ve really gained a reputation for a two key features: their interviews and their lists.

I’ve interviewed bands before and I’ve often asked them what they thought about music and what they like or admire. It seems to me that no one’s ever told me who they don’t like in the music industry and why. I doubt that these interviewers are asking for dirt, so what is it about these magazines that makes the musicians want to talk? Mudslinging through NME is so easy. If you say it at Friday’s gig, it’ll make the print deadline and make it to the newsstands by Monday.

The funny part about this story is that that’s not what’s really bugging me about magazines like NME. NME, in particular, is notorious for their lists. They revise their “Best Albums of All Time” list every few months, adding in whatever flavor of the month they feel is worthy of the hype. Of course, they’ve had a few hits (well, mostly Oasis), but it all came crashing down when I heard that they placed Arctic Monkeys’ debut album within the top five of all time, ahead of several Beatles and Clash albums. How does that happen? I don’t even like the Beatles and I know that the Arctic Monkeys are trash. Of course, I know this happens every few years, but why is it still a problem?

Today, I read a report that ten of the twelve tracks from Arctic Monkeys’ new album are within the top 75 of the Top 200 Singles. The other two songs are ranked at numbers 77 and 114. What the hell? Hype really sells overseas, apparently, because there are bands that can’t get one song on the charts, let alone every single song from their twelve-song album.

Because of the hype, Arctic Monkeys have become one of the biggest spectacles in the world. I will admit that I liked that “I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor” song when I first heard it, but after that first week where I couldn’t go outside without hearing it, I wanted to kill myself just to make it stop. I’m not sure how this album is going to shake out with American radio and television, but I’m hoping the backlash catches up.